wow.

wow. first of all, my name is peu (pay - you). i'm bengali. i do not appreciate people calling me anything besides what my name is. unless i love you (: . so i used to have a blogger before, but then i forgot the password and which email i had used for that one :[ . i had been meaning to get a blogger again for quite a while now because it seems as if no one has time to listen to my problem and plus , who would i tell my problems to. even though i know other people will read this, i still want to have somewhere i can put my thoughts down. when i tell others my problems, i leave so much out, just because im afraid of what they will think of me and my decisions. :[ . as you can see i like periods, commas and semi-colons. i don't think i can go one sentence without a comma, period or semi-colon. im addicted to them ;x .

here it goes ; a list of my problems ; its kind of long ; well at least to me );

1. my boyfriend.

well let's see, our problems started about 17 months ago. i really do believe we are the "forever" type. i can feel it in my heart , with each breath i take. i know no one in this world is perfect. love isn't about finding the perfect person, its about finding an imperfect person perfect. yes, i won't deny , he does soooo much for me. yet, just because he does so much, does it make it ok for him to treat me badly? he has called me all different types of names, he has hurt me physically and continuously hurts me emotionally. he will promise to change and the change will last , if i'm lucky, one WHOLE week. the other day, just because i didn't say sorry the way he would've liked me to, he didnt talk to me for two days. while we were on the phone, i lay on my pillow crying and what does he say ? "i don't care you're crying". sometimes, late at night, when everyone is sleeping, i wonder to myself "could this really be that kid i met over two years ago?" people really do change. some for the better and some for the worse. we went on a double date for valentines day, i wont lie, everything he bought me , i lovedddddddddd it ! while sitting at applebees with his best friend and his girlfriend, he happened to realize how messed up he is to me. his best friend's girlfriend is talking about how she doesn't ever have to do anything, how he always calls her and is always caring and nice to her. so when we get home, he's like "i really will change". and so here we are two days after v-day, and he's shown improvement. i'll update about him in two weeks. i can assure you this won't last -_- .hey, at least he's trying.




2. school

i don't know if i'll be able to graduate in june :( . all three of my fucking gym teachers failed me. f*cking ms. balansag. that dumb hoe. i almost got suspended cause of her. dumb b*tch told me she's pass me and then didn't. and mr. torres? another dumb mofo. f*cking bald headed biatchh. tell me how he passes some girl who was absent more than me and didn't even run during the running test and i RAN during the whole test and he failed me. WTF?!?!? my mom's gonna talk to him so hopefully he gives the grade i deserved.

3. ETC

it just feels as if once one problem goes by, i have another to worry about. at least this week began stress free -_-. i bet it wont last though. i started praying again. god can't get rid of your problems, but im hoping he can guide me the right way. seems as if lately , i've been choosing the wrong path.

well , i must say "adios" for now. i have a meetup in an hour and a half and i have to get ready -_-. im being lazy as you can see. procastination FTMFW! (:

p.s.

now that i have a blogspot, i'll probably be on it 24/7 (: