well...

I'm feeling type sad ;/ IDK what to do anymore :'( I just want to disappear. I really do. I wish I could. But I guess that's not possible. Let's see. He lied and I know he did. Idk what to say. Whatever. I don't want to care. I wish it were easy. I wish I could let him go. I wish I could break up with him. What do I try for? What do I stay for? I stay for those little moments of happiness I get with him. Maybe I should just leave now, while I can. Maybe if I stopped talking to him , it'd be better. So many maybe's. Fuck his birthday. I don't care anymore. I know I have my faults, but does it give him the right to be like that? Fuck this shit. Fuck him. Fuck his bullshit. Fuck all the shit he puts me through. Fuck me sitting here and waiting for him to CARE.

ANYWAYS ; MOVING THE FUCK ON .

I went shopping today (: MMMMMMMMMM. delicious. I bought two plain loose-ish t's. Light blue & a white one. And a pair of cute jeans. Also a summer dress. I bought two sizes smaller than normal and it's still too big -_- but whatever. It's cute ! I bought two pairs of gladiators. One is white and the other is brown. My mom picked both of those out and paid for them :D I must get my nails done ! They look uuuugly ;/

Anywhoooo's, I'm out for now. Enjoy stalking me you hoes.

thank you

thank you for forgetting our 26 month anniversary. I know to many of you it's not a big deal, but to me it is. Me & bibash don't celebrate our anniversaries like that only the big ones, but we always say "happy anniversary". Like I can not believe he forgot. Wait , actually , I can. that's what he's good at. Forgetting shit. Whatever. I think I'm done with him for good. Imma let him do his shit & imma do mine. I'll be back later.

a lot of things

soooo, a lot of things have happened. Bibash & I argued yesterday. I over-reacted and cursed him out, oops ;/ butttt, it's his fault! ALLL OF IT I TELL YA! :D anywhoooooooo, I changed my header (:

Today was fun. I met up bibash, we went to steinwayy, shopped for a bit. Bought some things we both needed. I payed for his things since his birthday is coming up & he keeps telling me he doesn't want anything, he just wants to be able to spend time with me on his birthday -_-. So I already decided what I'm doing for his birthday.

We're going to meet-up in the morning. Around 9ish. Go to a hotel :D :D I won't say which one because I don't need you losers stalking me :D I KID I KID! Anyways. then after all that good stuff, I'm going to take him out to dinnger. Afghani Kebab because he loves it there. I was going to take him to Olive Garden, but decided against it because he'd rather have that Afghani food, which btw is very yummmyyy.


I'm procrastinating right now "/ I should be doing my essay -_____- but it's suuuuchhh a drag! Buttt I promise I shall finish it today because tomorrow I'm going to enjoy my day. It's the last day of vacay. But in a certain light, I'm looking forward to school. It should go by fast. Hopefully...


goooodnightt loves! I'll be back soon (:

hello there .

so, I'm back once again. It's been a while hasn't it? Wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll nada mas has happened ;/ I made a facebook & deleted it. It wasn't for me. it reminded me of a time of my life I just wnated to forget. Forget the horrible choices I had made. I chose the wrong people to be friends with. Made soooo many mistake, that I regret terribly. I wish I could go back in time and change it all. But thanks to Bibash, I made the right choices. I thank GOD everyday that he's in my life. Even with his stupidity. He's changed a lot since my first post. He's more caring and nice.


ANYWAYYYY! I got his first b-day gift. OBSIDIAN XII'S . He was type happy ;D

anywayyyy, here are some pics from the past few days. They have been wonderfullll. I've been out with my baby's daddy every single day and I've loved it. BTW watch "HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT" goooooood movie!

it's been a while.

I know it's been a while & you've missed me. So , my life has been going pretty well. Bibash's birthday is coming up in about a month. I can't wait. I love birthdays. Last year i bought him a slim white psp he had been wanting w/ insurance. The bitch doesn't even use it anymore -_- I told him to go sell it and buy something he'll use. But he refuses to do so. That bastard. Anyways. Last night I played a funny april's fool joke on him. I told him I was pregnant and he was so scared and starting panicing. It was funny. I'm just lying on my bed, having the time of my life while he's all scared. BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, besides that, I need a job. But he doesn't think so -_-. He thinks I should just live off him for the rest of my life. I mean, don't get me wrong I like being spoiled by him, but i like spoiling him also. I love seeing that smile on his face.

IDK what I'm going to get him for his bday. We don't go TOO big for each others birthdays. We go big on our anniversary :] . I'm thinking I'll take him shopping. On his birthday, we'll go out to eat at olive garden (because he loves it) & have some fun at night. MUAHAHAHAHAHA. if you catch my drift :D

Bibash got his financial aid money the other week and it was 1900$. SOOOO he gave me $200 because when he got his last check he didn't give me anything, he wanted to make up for it -_-. I didn't care. But hey, if he wants to give it then i might as well take it :D. I bought an ipod touch w| part of the money. I payed only $60 for a VNDS condition ipod touch. CONNECTIONS I TELL YA. I bought a whole bunch of other stuff. We also went shopping. OMG. was that fun. Retail therapy for me & a pain in the ass for him :D :D


I'm on a diet + I joined Lucille Roberts. It hadn't even been a week and my wallet got stolen and it had my card in it. But I plan on going there tomorrow to go get another one. I've lost 10 lbs. I'm proud of myself. I watch what I eat now and it feels good. Over spring break I'll be at the gym every morning at 10. HOLLLAAAA (:


OK, NOW I'M OFF TO DO NOTHING :D

OMG!

OK LOOOOOK! I COMPLETELLLYYY FORGOT TO POSTTTTTTTTTT ! IM SOORRRYY >:o

welllllll now back to business ! so sunday was mine & my hubby's two year anniversaryyyy (: we had funnnn, i shall not lie. this is what we did :

made some love ;)
drove to this restaurant to eat
and we ATEEEEEEEEE. yummmmmyyy. OMG the foood was sooooooooo goooood !
had some desertt ; omggg it was strawberry cheesecakeee OMGGGGGGGGGGGG (:

ok well, i loved it. even though it was simple, i L O V E D it (: it was better than our last years celebration.

anyways, yesterday me & bibs went out. he had a meetup for a pair of 15's (: everyone always asks me how i get my sneakers for so cheap, IDKKKKKK! i just look around. im not a crazy person who's gonna sell her blood just to buy a pair of sneakers for a ridiculous amount -_-

after the meetup, we were gonna go to QCM, but decided not to cause its always packed & theres never anything good there -_- ; we just decided to stick to ordering online.

i went to prima donna & found no shoes in my size -_- bitches.

anywayss ; today was a snow day! i woke up & everything not wanting to go to school because of the snow ; and then my dad calls & goes like "go back to sleep , theres no school" (: i was a happy birdie. i woulda slept all day, but ehhhss that woulda been boring, BUT i do plan on going to sleep at like 8. i would watch one tree hill & gossip girl ; BUTTTTTTTTTT of course no new episodes for a while -_- w/e. pshhh.

BUT back to the snow, it was soooo much! me & my baby buddha went out & the snow was upto my ankles :O i haven't seen that much snow in about 4 years :O. CRAZYYYYYYYY. I WAS HOPING TOMORROW WOULD BE A SNOW DAY ALSO BUT PSHHHH THAT WON'T HAPPEN !

well bibs got a iss account. i told him he'll be on it all the time now. SUCKER.

anyways ; im off to watch some iron man lmao. GOOODBYEEEE MY FELLOW BLOG BUDDIES!

bang bang (;

ok so bibash came over yesterday. we were going to go out to eat and movies & what not ; but then we decided to stay in cause the weather sucked big booty -_-. we ordered some domino's and the delivery guy was so rude, asking to give him more money for tips. THE FUCK?!?!??! lmao. but bibash, being a nice person ; gave it to him . well after eating & stuffing ourselves with domino's , we started to watch slumdog millionaire, but we didn't really finish it; we got a little distracted ;) ;) . oh! ^ we took that picture (: . & he's getting better. treating me right and such. so then afterwardss, he left and what nott. i was at home watching the last few episodes of "the secret life of an american teenager" - i loveee that show (: .

anywhos ; the other day me & my biddie nitol decided to matchh. but of course we only took pictures of our sneakers ; not our whole body's cause we're stupid -_- . ok so for some reason the picture won't go underneath this paragraphh. stupid picture ! >:o !

today was boring. i didn't do anything besides be a lazy bum. tomorrow i have a few meetups ; hoping they all come through. (: anywhoos i'll update tomorrow : bibash is supposed to get me bubbletea cause he loves me (:

OHHHHHH! I ALMOST FORGOT ; MY TWO YEAR ANIVERSAY IS SUNDAY! SO YOU KNOW I'LL BE POSTING UP PICS :] GOONIGHTT BIATCHES & HOES

wow.

wow. first of all, my name is peu (pay - you). i'm bengali. i do not appreciate people calling me anything besides what my name is. unless i love you (: . so i used to have a blogger before, but then i forgot the password and which email i had used for that one :[ . i had been meaning to get a blogger again for quite a while now because it seems as if no one has time to listen to my problem and plus , who would i tell my problems to. even though i know other people will read this, i still want to have somewhere i can put my thoughts down. when i tell others my problems, i leave so much out, just because im afraid of what they will think of me and my decisions. :[ . as you can see i like periods, commas and semi-colons. i don't think i can go one sentence without a comma, period or semi-colon. im addicted to them ;x .

here it goes ; a list of my problems ; its kind of long ; well at least to me );

1. my boyfriend.

well let's see, our problems started about 17 months ago. i really do believe we are the "forever" type. i can feel it in my heart , with each breath i take. i know no one in this world is perfect. love isn't about finding the perfect person, its about finding an imperfect person perfect. yes, i won't deny , he does soooo much for me. yet, just because he does so much, does it make it ok for him to treat me badly? he has called me all different types of names, he has hurt me physically and continuously hurts me emotionally. he will promise to change and the change will last , if i'm lucky, one WHOLE week. the other day, just because i didn't say sorry the way he would've liked me to, he didnt talk to me for two days. while we were on the phone, i lay on my pillow crying and what does he say ? "i don't care you're crying". sometimes, late at night, when everyone is sleeping, i wonder to myself "could this really be that kid i met over two years ago?" people really do change. some for the better and some for the worse. we went on a double date for valentines day, i wont lie, everything he bought me , i lovedddddddddd it ! while sitting at applebees with his best friend and his girlfriend, he happened to realize how messed up he is to me. his best friend's girlfriend is talking about how she doesn't ever have to do anything, how he always calls her and is always caring and nice to her. so when we get home, he's like "i really will change". and so here we are two days after v-day, and he's shown improvement. i'll update about him in two weeks. i can assure you this won't last -_- .hey, at least he's trying.




2. school

i don't know if i'll be able to graduate in june :( . all three of my fucking gym teachers failed me. f*cking ms. balansag. that dumb hoe. i almost got suspended cause of her. dumb b*tch told me she's pass me and then didn't. and mr. torres? another dumb mofo. f*cking bald headed biatchh. tell me how he passes some girl who was absent more than me and didn't even run during the running test and i RAN during the whole test and he failed me. WTF?!?!? my mom's gonna talk to him so hopefully he gives the grade i deserved.

3. ETC

it just feels as if once one problem goes by, i have another to worry about. at least this week began stress free -_-. i bet it wont last though. i started praying again. god can't get rid of your problems, but im hoping he can guide me the right way. seems as if lately , i've been choosing the wrong path.

well , i must say "adios" for now. i have a meetup in an hour and a half and i have to get ready -_-. im being lazy as you can see. procastination FTMFW! (:

p.s.

now that i have a blogspot, i'll probably be on it 24/7 (: